Divorce Issue

     Jumpalila Binti Amit, Ting Kah Kiong, Norfadillah Binti Salleh

Tittle: Divorce

1.0 Introduction

Nowadays, the rate of divorce cases continuously to rise from year to year. While years ago, divorce cases was rare in society. There are nobody married with expectation of failure. Unfortunately, dissolution of marriage has being used as an easy and quickly solution to come out from their problem in modern life (Judith Wallerstein). The divorces have become a common trend and practice for a young couple in Malaysia society. We can always hear that most actress, singer and actors who have married getting divorce through newspaper, internet and television every day.

Divorce is a complex event that can be viewed from multiple perspectives (Bumpass, Martin & Sweet, 1991). From a legal perspective, divorce is a process of disengaging partners from the legal contrast. Lands (1975) explained that divorce is a climax to a long story of unhappiness and it provides a legal way out of a situation which one or both parties have considered intolerable. According to Blakeslee Ives, divorce means the failure of the “original family” as a viable entity. Oxford dictionary also defines divorces as the legal dissolution of a marriage. Therefore, divorce is the end result of a process of marital dysfunction, discord, and miscommunication.

Malaysia has a very high rate of divorce. The average of divorce cases in Malaysia reaches to 20% per year (Kausar, 2005). The majority of the divorce cases were involved Muslim couple. According to Syariah Judiciary Department Malaysia (JKSM) statistics, the number of Muslim marriage getting divorced was increased by 2.3 times from 20,916 in 2004 to 47,740 in 2012, and to 49,311 last year. The number of non-Muslim marriages was also slightly increased from 3,291 cases in 2004 to 9,020 cases in 2012. Furthermore, Malaysia divorce cases also ranked 24 among 55 countries in 2013 according to Malaysian Economic Planning Unit report.

         

2.0 Discussion

2.1 Causes of divorce

Firstly, lack of communication between marriage couple is a common cause of divorce issue (Thompson & Walker, 1991). Both of them need to work for a better and comfortable life. The working schedule also may not be same and maybe man work office hour and woman work night shift. Since the working time is different, they will have less time spend for each other. They will unable to solve the problem that may occur in their family when both of husband and wife is not communication at all. In their perception, smallest matters are not worth and avoid to be discussing in the family. They more focus and take care of their own job. They did not realize even the smallest thing in the family can cause conflict between them. They were unable to solve their conflict through lack of communication. As a result, divorce will be chose as an easy solution to overcome their conflict.

Secondly, the ‘poor parenting skills’ proves to be an important cause that leads to divorces among couple (Kausar, 2005). In this era, both husband and wife have to work for their satisfaction and financial needs. Both of them busy with their own job until do not have free time to spend for each other and their kids. As a result, there are loss of family love and harmony due to materialistic life. They also confuse with their own roles in the family as a father and mother. This is because the babysitter has replaced the roles and responsible from them. The babysitter is not guarantee raises their kids up in the proper way than their own parents. Thus, conflict between the husband and wife will burst out and they start to blame each other. This problem left unsolved will lead them to divorce as a quickly decision.

Thirdly, lack of foundation in the marriage can cause divorce. The couple that marriage in very young age has higher rate lead to divorce according to Kitson, 1992. They were too rushing to get married without build a strong relationship foundation. Furthermore, there was also a young couple that force to marriage early by their parent. They not prepared for supporting a marriage. They will fact many problems in their beginning such as economic, financial, emotional, and experience. They are probably not mature, unable to make better decisions and handle the challenges of married life. Therefore, the marriages tend to end in divorce when young marriage couples realize that they did not share same value, belief and interest in their marriage life.

Besides that, the financial problem in the family is also another cause of divorce. The budget and debt crisis rose due to overspending habits by husband or wife in the modern life (Shamsul Amri, 2014). This is because they did not plan their budget wisely. They always spend money on things that was not needed such as entertainment, personal accessories and personal interests. As a result, argument between husband and wife will arise when financial problem occur in the family. Therefore, financial problem become a major conflict in the family. They needed money for clothes, food, house and paying various bill. Financial crisis in the family can lead them to stressful, tension and unsatisfied situation as a result of divorce.

Lack of commitment in marriage life also causes of divorce (Daniel, 2007). Marriage is an institution which needs commitment from both husband and wife. Divorce often occur when one or both marriage couple unwilling to work hard on changing themselves in order to improve their marriage life. They did not show any commitment to resolve their difficulty in marriage life together. They just let their spouse to handle every problem in the family life. The conflicts may occur when they felt unhappy and unsatisfied with their. As a result, their marriages end due to lack of commitment in the marriage life.

The insecurity in the marriage life also contributes to causes of divorce. Research have found that many women stated that they will choose to divorce if their spouse always violence and abuses her and their children physically, psychologically and sexually. This is because they felt insecure and likely unhappy living with their aggressive spouse. They have the right to be safe and secure. They cannot remain the relationship in dangerous and insecure situation. It is not surprisingly when women decide to end their marriage due to abuse cases in a family.

Unrealistic expectation also causes that contributes to divorce among marriage couple (Jonathan Kelley, 2001). Many of them enter into marriage with high expectation and value. The beginning of marriage is romantic, honeymoon and wonderful phase. They will start blaming each other when their ideal relationship expectation is failed. Some of them may get divorce when they have too high expectation toward their spouse. They expected their spouse was a perfect person and able to solve every problem that occur in their marriage life.  After marriage, they discover that their spouse have certain weakness and unable to solve every problem in the family. Therefore, unrealistic expectation of both couple lead them to get divorce when their marriage not more romantic and wonderful as beginning.

2.2 Implication of divorce

          Firstly, effect of divorce was permanently weakens the relationship between children and parents (Paul and Juliana, 2001). The single parent will fact relationship problem with their children. The bond of children with their single parent is not easy recovery as before divorce event. This is because divorce of their parent makes the children traumatizing and trust issue will occur in the single parent family. The children also need takes a long time to adjust to a new environment after divorce event. Therefore, divorce will have a negative impact on family relationship.

Besides that, the effect of divorce gives a negative impact on children academic achievement. According to Daniel Potter, he found that elementary school children who experienced parental divorce immediately lead them to worse academically performance compare to their peers who comes from intact families. The children likely to be most painful victim and become traumatic of their parent divorce events. They are not able to concentrate on their academic during the time of parent divorce. They maybe absence and escape from class. They likely bound to lose their confidence, lack of social interact and may not interest to study at all. Therefore, they have higher risk dropout and suspension from school.

Furthermore, the effect of divorce also gives an impact on children social skill. The children that have parental divorce event mostly have problem in their communication and social skill. There is a correlation studies between children of divorce and social skill by Thomas G. O’Connor, 2000. Researcher has concluded that children of divorce have more difficulties in social interaction compare to those children who comes from intact families. They tend to have very less social contact with other people. They will also likely isolate and individualistic in society. Therefore, they will have problem in intimate relationship with other during adolescent.

The effect of divorce also will increase use of drugs and alcohol among divorce parental (Robert, 1993). The divorce parental have a higher risk involved use of drug, alcohol consumption and binge drinking. This is because they want to cover painful memories and escape from reality by taking illegal drug and alcohol.  Therefore, they will choose drug or alcohol as a way to calm down their emotion and mind.  The illegal use of drug and alcohol will increase due to effect of divorce.

2.3 Recommendation to prevent divorce

Each partner must take care of their own marriage. There are 5 steps that can help to avoid divorce. The most important to get married, attend the marriage pre course. Marriage can be revealing about the nature of marriage to couples to be married. This in turn helps them to be more willing to undergo the household environment.

Besides that, finances by controlling expenses together and wisely in terms of expenditure. Undoubtedly the financial issue is one of the main causes why the occurrence of divorce. We shall determine the proposition only for owned and never buy something over the limit of capability and leads to owe. This solution can help to save more money and use it on appropriate matter.

Furthermore, married couples also should always do common interest because most of the couples who have been married will ignore their interest together. When the partner have begun to know each other, then the actual attitude will arise. So each partner should accept each other as well. Although different opinions and views make the matter as an item that can complement each other.

Other things that can be done for partner to avoid divorce is always creating good communication with spouse, especially when the occurrence of misunderstanding. Couples who are having problems should sit to discuss rather than mutually avoid up to overshadow another situation. Good communication among couple can minimize divorce in the family.

Next is married couples are required to attend programs that related to marriage so they will gain many information about the marriage environment, especially in resolving conflicts. Programmes relating to the marriage provides knowledge about how to maintain marital satisfaction in a marriage. This means couples have the satisfaction in a marriage will be happy in their marriage life.

Hence, one of the ways to avoid divorce is attend the marriage counseling sessions. Many research have proven that by attending counselling sessions most of the couples who want to divorce will cancel their intention to divorce and come back to happiness.

3.0 Conclusion

Marriage is necessary for forming a family. There are nobody married with expectation of failure. Everyone wants to have happy and wonderful marriage life.  A divorce case also was very rare in society. Unfortunately, dissolution of marriage has being a common trend and practice for a young couple in Malaysia society nowadays. Therefore, the divorce rate in Malaysia continuous to increases from year to year. The statistic department shown Malaysia has a high rate of divorce. Most of the divorces are consist of young marriage couple according to statistic.

As we know that people will not divorce without a reason. There are a lot of research has identified various causes that are associated with a higher risk for divorce. It included lack of communication, financial problem, poor parenting skills, lack of foundation, lack of commitment, insecurity and unrealistic expectation in marriage life. The divorce case also gives several implications such as weaken the family relationship, decrease children academic achievement, social skill and increase use of drug and alcohol. There was a pro and con implication of divorce to family, children and society. Lastly, there are some recommendations to prevent divorce among marriage couple.

4.0 References:

Daniel, P. (2010) Psychosocial Well-Being and the Relationship Between Divorce and Children's Academic Achievement. Journal of Marriage and the Family 72, no. 4, 944.

Daniel, J. (2007) Parental Divorce and the Types of Commitment-Related Messages People Gain from Their Families of Origin. Journal of Divorce and Remarriage 47, 23.

Elizabeth, M., & Toby, L. (1995) Social Sources of Change in Children’s Home Environments: The Effects of Parental Occupational Experiences and Family Conditions. Journal of Marriage and Family 57, 69-84.

Evans, Jonathan, Kelley & Richard, A. (2001) Educational attainment of the children of divorce: Australia, 1940-90, Journal of Sociology 37, 287.

Jeanne, M. & Stephan, D. (2003) Children’s Behavior Problems in Single-Parent and Married-Parent Families: Development of Predictive Model. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage 37, 13-34.

Kitson. G., Babri. K., & Roach, M. (1985) Who divorces and why: A review. Journal of Family Issues, 6, 255-293.

Michael, W., & John, B. (1992) Aggression, Alcohol Dependency, and Self-consciousness among High School Students of Divorced and Non-divorced Parents. Psychological Reports 71,  279-286.

Norval, D., Glenn & Kathryn, B. (1987) The Marriages and Divorces of the Children of Divorce. Journal of Marriage and Family 49, 811-825.

Paul, A. (1994) Father-Child Relations, Mother-Child Relations and Offspring Psychological Well-being in Early Adulthood. Journal of Marriage and Family 56, 1031-1042.

Richard, H., Susan, S., & William, J (1990) Divorce, Remarriage, and Adolescent Substance Use: A Prospective Longitudinal Study.  Journal of Marriage and Family52, 162.

Sylvie. D., & Camil. B, (1998) Support networks and adjustment among 6 to 11 year olds from martially disrupted and intact families. Journal of Divorce and Remarriage 19, 75-97.

Susan, E., Jacquet, A., & Catherine, S. (2001) Parental Divorce and Premarital Couples: Commitment and Other Relationship Characteristics. Journal of Marriage and Family 63, 634.

Teresa, M., Michael, A., Gunhild, O., & Robin, K. (1986) Parental Divorce in Young Adulthood: Some Preliminary Findings. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 56, 470-477.

single mother

Source: google

INTRODUCTION

                                       

'The hand that rocks the cradle capable of shaking the world'. That Malay proverb still intact and timeless in explaining the role of a human mothers. According to statistics released by the Family Development Foundation Darul Ta'zim (YPKDT), the number of registered single mothers from 2003 to 2012 was over 5291 people. Meanwhile, in 2012, there were 253 registered single mothers below the foundation. This clearly shows that there is an increase in the number of single mothers in the state of Johor. This does not include some single mothers who have not registered due to lack of information or lack of awareness of this government. In summary, a single mother who is a widow of her husband's death, the wife who has been divorced by her husband and the woman who leads, manages and raising children alone (Sufean & Jamaludin, 2006). While Hj. Hamdan (2007) defined a single mother as a person who has lost her husband by death and had her shares of responsibility as head of the family to educate their children or even a woman who is still legally her status as a wife to her husband but has been left out and about to continue her lives with children alone without getting any maintenance from her husband. 

History has proved that Islamic civilization centuries has recognized the position and status of the mothers who a person with honourable position in the eyes of the Muslim community including single mothers. Islam also give attention to the rights and feelings of a mother when making the divorced mother is more entitled to defend and raise her children rather than being a father. It is also recorded in a hadith when a woman came to ask the Prophet Joseph (2002).

                                                                                                                                            

 CHALLENGES OF BEING A SINGLE MOTHER

There are many challenges and imperatives faced by single mothers in their daily life after an absence of a husband. The economic problem is a major challenge to single mothers. This was stated by Syarifah (2003) in his study on the problems of single mothers in Sura, Dungun Terengganu found out that single mothers’ main problem is an economic problem.

Today, the role and woman challenges are increasing especially single mothers. Various challenges and hardships faced by single mothers in their daily lives. Issues and problems faced by single parents is not new but almost every year the media reported various problems and challenges faced by single mothers. For example, financial problems, family problems, problems of stigma and support from the community as well as emotional and psychological problems among single mothers. In Malaysia itself, most single parents facing financial difficulties to survive themselves and their children who grew up in isolation. This was revealed by the Daily Herald Newspaper Online (January 2, 2013) which reported about a single mother, Jamilah Ibrahim from Batu Pahat Johor who had to work for 16 hours a day to support her two children are still in school.

Single mothers also face challenges and psychological and emotional problems after holding the status as the single mother. Hal also explained by studies Afifi, Cox, & Enns (2006) who showed that women who divorce are likely to suffer emotional distress and depression compared with married women or women who have never married. This applies especially for single parents who have lost their husbands or death. They tend to feel lonely and void because there was no place to share the ups and downs, to depend on and get the love (Hamid, Mottan, & Tyng, 2010).

Other challenge faced by single mothers is stigma from society of their future. This can be seen in the study conducted by Crosier, Butterworth, & Rodgers (2007) that single mothers deal with more trouble in getting social support compared with the wife who lives with her husband. Next, challenges or other problems faced by single parents are family problems of raising children alone. It is also supported by studies by Rohayu, Sharipah, Yusmarwati, Maziana, & Rasid (2000) which states that teens in single parent families living in the city and have a lower quality of parenting is risky to get involved with antisocial behaviour.

SEVEN STEPS TO COPING WITH CHANGES

Here are some suggestions to help to navigate the early stressful days – and when times get tough down the track.

1)      Reach out for support - Your family and friends can be a lifeline. If you can’t get helpful support from family and friends, try seeking out other single mothers, neighbours or parents at your children’s playground, kindergarten or school.

2)      Time to grieve - Whatever your circumstances, feeling loss and grief may be part of your experience. Recognising your loss allows you to create time to grieve and cry.

3)      Take it step by step - In the early days, it can help to lower your expectations about how much your family can do and how many things you can get ‘settled’ at once. Put some things into a ‘low priority’ area that you don’t have to think about right now. See if there are any big decisions that you can put off until the step forward becomes clearer.

4)      Focus on what you can control - Some things will be out of your control, like decisions made by others about your children. Save your energy for the battles that are worth fighting and celebrate your own daily achievements.

5)      Recognise your choices - No matter how limited the options appear to be, you always have choices. Even if you can’t change the situation, you may be able to change how you feel and respond.

6)      Go easy on yourself - It’s easy to start blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong. You’re not superwoman, so be gentle and give yourself a pat on the back whenever you can.

7)      Dream some dreams - Allow yourself to dream a little about how you would like your future to be. Develop new goals for yourself and your children.

WAYS TO HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP

Having a good relationship with children provides the strongest foundation for their development and learning. Children who grow up with strong and loving relationships with a parent tend to feel good about themselves. They are more likely to grow up to be caring adults who can develop their own positive relationships.

 Make the most of everyday moments

Quality time with your children can happen anytime and anywhere: talking on the way to child care, kindergarten or school, talking over dinner instead of watching TV, playing word games on the bus or having a sing-a-long in the car.

 Be interested

Focus on your children’s interests by talking about their favourite things, whether that’s sport, music, books or how things work. Encourage them to talk about what they like about their favourite things – but try to avoid question and answer sessions.

 Pay warm attention

Smile, laugh and hug your children as often as you can, making lots of eye contact. Show them that you are happy to see them when you greet them in the morning, when you collect them later in the day or when they come home from child care, kindergarten or school.

One-to-one

When you can, put aside some regular time to spend with each child. It could be a book before bed, a latenight chat or a game with an older child after the younger ones are asleep. Or a special outing to the park with a younger child while older siblings are at school.      

 CONCLUSION       

As a conclusion, there are many challenges that must be faced by a single mother. But, there are also many strategies that can be implementing by the single mother in order to continue their life. Government concern with the fate faced by single mothers has led to various forms of preparation and planning strategies to reduce the burden borne by them. For example, the government has provided incentives to Malaysia Power to provide a three-month skills training courses in tailoring, beauty, floral arrangements, crystal and beads to single mothers to start their own businesses (Utusan Malaysia Online, October 2012).  

REFERENCES

Afifi,  T.  O.,  Cox,  B.  J.,  &  Enns,  M.  W.  (2006). Mental health profiles among married,

never-married, and separated/divorced mothers in a nationally representative sample. Social psychiatry and psychiatric epidemiology, 41(2), 122–9. doi:10.1007/s00127

005-0005-3

Crosier, T., Butterworth, P., & Rodgers, B. (2007). Mental health problems among single and

partnered mothers. The role of financial hardship and social support. Social

Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology, 42(1), 6–13. doi:10.1007/s00127-006

0125-4

Hamid, T. A., Mottan, J., & Tyng, C. Sen. (2010). Keluarga  Induk  Tunggal :  Penekanan

Kepada Cabaran Keluarga Ibu Tunggal. Keluarga dan Keibubapaan (Edisi 3.).      Selangor: Penerbit Universiti Putra Malaysia.

Hj. Hamdan, H. A. K. (2007). Kesan Latihan Ketegasan Terhadap Tegas Diri Dan Konsep

Kendiri Di Kalangan Ibu Tunggal di Johor Bahru. Universiti Teknologi Malaysia.

Rohayu, R., Sharipah, S. S. N., Yusmarwati, Y., Maziana, M., & Rasid, A. R. A. (2000).

POVERTY Alleviation among Single Mother in Malaysia : Building Entrepreneurship Capacity. International Journal of Business And Social Science, 2(17), 92–99.

Sinar Harian Online (January 2, 2013). Ibu Tunggal Sanggup Kerja 16 Jam Sehari retrieved

from http://www.sinarharian.com.my/theme/Tag/Ibu%20 tunggal/ibu-tunggal

sanggup-kerja-16-jam-sehari

Sufean, H., & Jamaluddin, T. (2006). Keluarga Ibu Tunggal : Senario Dan  Dasar  Sosial

Mengenainya. Institusi Keluarga Menghadapi Cabaran Alaf Baru. Kuala Lumpur:

Utusan Publications & Distributors Sdn Bhd.

Syarifah, C. (2003). Permasalahan ibu tunggal dalam melaksanakan tanggugjawab

pendidikan anak-anak. Satu kajian  di  kawasan  Sura,  Dungun  Terengganu Darul

Iman. Universiti Teknologi Malaysia.

Utusan   Malaysia   Online   (Oktober   28,   2012). Kerajaan    Terus    Bantu    Golongan

Ketinggalan.

by: Noor Fadzilah Zolkifli & Nurul Farahin Ibrahim

Domestic Violence against Spouse

1.0       Introduction

Malaysia is a developing country that has always been strongly against any forms of violence because it is acknowledge as serious social issue that can cause a “shameful” violation of human rights. However, nowadays it is becoming more evident that domestic violence is one of the marriage issues that should be taken into serious matter and an immediate action due to the rising number of cases. As reported in Borneo Post Online (2013), domestic violence cases is on the rise in Malaysia since 2010 where the prevalence of violence by intimate partner revealed that there were 3173 reported cases involving 2522 women and 650 men being the victims. Studies indicated that violence happened at least once in two-thirds in marriage, and roughly around 95% of the victims involving in domestic violence are wives (Nor Azilah, n.d).

According to Bragg (2003), domestic violence is defined as a pattern of abusive and assault behaviors that include physical, sexual, verbal, and psychological attacks and economic abuse that an individual use against his or her intimate partner. Domestic violence also can be described as a pattern of physically, sexually, and emotionally abusive behaviors that a person use in order to assert power or maintain his or her control over another person in the context of an intimate or family relationship (Department of Criminal Justice Services, 2013).

Domestic violence is basically perceived as women issue since they are the vulnerable victim. However, latest research indicated that men also can be a victim of abuse which indirectly indicated that women are also capable of doing violence against her intimate partner or spouse. As reported in Women’s Aid Organisation (2012), women population showed the highest percentage that seeking shelter and protection due to violence that happened in their marriage. In addition, women Development Department (JPW) (as cited in Dora & Halim, 2011, p 157) has recorded that counseling sessions since 2008 were mostly attended by wives who facing domestic violence and abuse cases. Therefore, men is the main perpetrator that often contributes to domestic violence cases in marriage relationship (Dora & Halim, 2011).

According to Rohrbaugh (2006), there are common characteristics of abuser that can be identified such as over dependency of emotional on the intimate partner, over controlling behaviour, extreme jealousy, substance abuse, tendency to breaks or strikes things when in anger state, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde’s personalities, use force in sex, spiritual and misuse of privilege.

2.0       Types of Abuse in Domestic Violence

According to Ja’afar, Rahim, Ahmad and Ismail (2006), there are a few common types of abuse usually occur in domestic violence which takes in form of physical abuse, sexual abuse, psychological abuse, emotional abuse, economic abuse, using privilege, isolation, and intimidation. As for physical abuse, the abuser injures his or her spouse through slapping, punching, shoving, burning, kicking and throwing objects at the victim. In addition, physical abuse also can be indicated when the abuser scratches, bites, grabs, shakes, strangles or burns the victim, locks her in or out of the house, and refuses to help when the victim is sick (Missouri Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Abuse, 2012).

As mentioned by Ja’afar et.al (2006), sexual abuse occurs when the perpetrators forcing his or her spouse to engage in sexual activities against her will. Besides that, her spouse is also purposely attack the physical or her sexual body parts and also preventing her from using birth control or safer sex practices. As for the psychological abuse is any threats carried out with the intention to humiliate, intimidate, blackmail, humiliation, and threatening to take the children away.

For the aspect of emotional abuse, it is closely related to all intentional attempts to minimize her concerns and to make her feel bad and often humiliating her in front of family and friends. Meanwhile, economic abuse is about creating financial dependence and also taking her money or saving against the will of the other spouse. Moreover, some of the spouse especially the husband misuse his privilege as “Head of The Family” to treat his wife badly. For isolation abuse can be defined as controlling and limiting what the other spouse does, where she or he goes, who she or he sees, and also preventing the partner from seeing family members and even socialize with friends. Intimidation abuse takes place when the abuser makes the victim fear using looks, gestures, verbal and actions. In worse cases is when the husband and wife or neither one as the abuser might damaging his or her partner’s property by punching holes in the walls, breaking down the doors and even use weapons to commit the violence act against victim. 

  

3.0       Factors contribute to domestic violence against spouse

There are many causes of domestic violence against spouse. Factor contributes to such circumstance often link with history experiences that the person gone through during childhood where the abuser growing up in a violent and an abusive household environment. Either witness domestic abuse or being a victim of abuse in their own homes can have a negative impact where the children will have much higher risk to grow up as violent adult who distrust others especially in intimate relationship and also weakens the abuser’s ability to control emotions (Goldsmith, 2015). This will make him or her to become hostile, aggressive and experience the difficulty to develop and maintain healthy relationship with his or her spouse because the abuser use forms of violence in order to resolve marriage conflicts or issues due to his or her past experience during childhood who have regarded such patterns of conflict resolution (United Nation Children’s Fund, 2000).

Besides that, domestic violence also occur among married couple when they experience low level of financial strain. According to Dora and Halim (2011), economic status forces such as insufficient salary to support high cost of living and family expenditure will likely generates frustration and emotional pressure among the marital couple especially among unemployed couple, spouse who has low income, spouse do not give any help with family expenses and when wives like to demand materials from husband. In fact, a men feels more superior of their roles as husbands which cause them to take earning or saving of their wives and neglect the responsibility by refuse to give money for household expenses and this lead to emotional violence (Hove, 2011). Such circumstance is somewhat associates to what the feminist theorist has stated, where a men uses domestic violence as a way to exert power and control over their partners (Peters, Shackelford, Buss, 2002). Without economic independence and financial resources, women as wives are seen powerless compared than husband to escape from an abusive intimate relationship because they are more vulnerable to be the victims of domestic violence. In fact, some husband purposely prevent their wives to work and this makes the wife unable to leave the abusive marriage with no money and being unemployed (Nor Azilah, n.d)

According to Goetz (2010), domestic violence against spouse particularly on wives happen due to jealousy and insecurity where the husband feels suspicious towards the wife for being unfaithful or is planning to break off the intimate relationship. The psychological theories of such cases are linked to personality traits and mental characteristics where the abuser are usually characterized by burst of anger impulsively, poor impulse control and poor self-esteem. Therefore, the abuser use violence as a threat to in order to ensure his power as a men as well as to overcome the jealousy and uncertainty feeling.

4.0       Consequences of domestic violence against spouse           

Domestic violence gives significant impact on physical health and well-being of the spouse who becomes a victim and the implication may varies depending on types of violence. As stated by Campbell (2002), physically abuse or the battering spouse are more likely to suffer physical injuries such as cuts, bruises, fractures due to physical assault done by their husband or wife which could take place in the form of slaps, punches, kicks, choke up, burning that require medical attention and even worse assaulting the spouse with dangerous weapon and homicide. This indirectly led to psychological consequences of violence which also can be as serious as physical effect such as self-blame, feeling hopeless, depression, anxiety, extreme intense, post-traumatic stress disorder and desire to commit suicide (World Health Organization, 2000).

As reported in Canadian Resource Centre for Victims of Crime (2000), the abuse victim also experienced a variety of emotions and side implications. For instance, the confusion either to stay or leave are influenced by mixed of emotion such as love, good memories and religion or value belief that a husband is the head of family whom a wife should obey to will likely put the victim in dilemma situation and somewhat some are unable to leave the violent relationship as well as refuse or reluctant to seek for help despite in constant fear that the abuser could become more hostile. Domestic violence also can contributes to divorce cases where spouse who experienced abuse in their marriage life increase the number of attended counseling session, court and eventually end up with divorce (Dora & Halim, 2011)

 

5.0       Conclusion

Domestic violence is a serious matter that should be taken an immediate action as it can negatively impact the spouse as the victim who is in highly risk to experience serious mental health impairments and also affecting the well-being of the victim involved. This issue also give long term impact on quality of life and daily functioning of the abuse spouse. In fact, the presence of continuous violence in marriage also give significant impact and may lead to serious risk and harm towards the whole family institution. This bring to the concern and safety not solely on the spouse but also to the children. For example, well-being and upbringing development of the children are negatively affected because they witness the violence occurs in their homes such as a mother being beaten by the abusive father.

Thousands of spouse regardless of gender, different class, background, races and religion are experiencing domestic violence in our daily community and sadly, most of the victim suffer in silence because they do not know on how to reach for help and get support. Therefore, it is very crucial for every people to notice and acknowledge either the warning signs or symptoms of domestic violence as a precaution and also to take further action in order to stop it. For the spouse who become the victim of domestic violence, both should know and aware the available resources on where to seek help and protection when face such cases. For instance, 28 safe houses which called as Rumah Nur and also known as House of Light, can be found all over in Malaysia are provided by The Welfare Department as a protection to give temporary shelter and protection to victims of abuse.