Divorce Issue

     Jumpalila Binti Amit, Ting Kah Kiong, Norfadillah Binti Salleh

Tittle: Divorce

1.0 Introduction

Nowadays, the rate of divorce cases continuously to rise from year to year. While years ago, divorce cases was rare in society. There are nobody married with expectation of failure. Unfortunately, dissolution of marriage has being used as an easy and quickly solution to come out from their problem in modern life (Judith Wallerstein). The divorces have become a common trend and practice for a young couple in Malaysia society. We can always hear that most actress, singer and actors who have married getting divorce through newspaper, internet and television every day.

Divorce is a complex event that can be viewed from multiple perspectives (Bumpass, Martin & Sweet, 1991). From a legal perspective, divorce is a process of disengaging partners from the legal contrast. Lands (1975) explained that divorce is a climax to a long story of unhappiness and it provides a legal way out of a situation which one or both parties have considered intolerable. According to Blakeslee Ives, divorce means the failure of the “original family” as a viable entity. Oxford dictionary also defines divorces as the legal dissolution of a marriage. Therefore, divorce is the end result of a process of marital dysfunction, discord, and miscommunication.

Malaysia has a very high rate of divorce. The average of divorce cases in Malaysia reaches to 20% per year (Kausar, 2005). The majority of the divorce cases were involved Muslim couple. According to Syariah Judiciary Department Malaysia (JKSM) statistics, the number of Muslim marriage getting divorced was increased by 2.3 times from 20,916 in 2004 to 47,740 in 2012, and to 49,311 last year. The number of non-Muslim marriages was also slightly increased from 3,291 cases in 2004 to 9,020 cases in 2012. Furthermore, Malaysia divorce cases also ranked 24 among 55 countries in 2013 according to Malaysian Economic Planning Unit report.

         

2.0 Discussion

2.1 Causes of divorce

Firstly, lack of communication between marriage couple is a common cause of divorce issue (Thompson & Walker, 1991). Both of them need to work for a better and comfortable life. The working schedule also may not be same and maybe man work office hour and woman work night shift. Since the working time is different, they will have less time spend for each other. They will unable to solve the problem that may occur in their family when both of husband and wife is not communication at all. In their perception, smallest matters are not worth and avoid to be discussing in the family. They more focus and take care of their own job. They did not realize even the smallest thing in the family can cause conflict between them. They were unable to solve their conflict through lack of communication. As a result, divorce will be chose as an easy solution to overcome their conflict.

Secondly, the ‘poor parenting skills’ proves to be an important cause that leads to divorces among couple (Kausar, 2005). In this era, both husband and wife have to work for their satisfaction and financial needs. Both of them busy with their own job until do not have free time to spend for each other and their kids. As a result, there are loss of family love and harmony due to materialistic life. They also confuse with their own roles in the family as a father and mother. This is because the babysitter has replaced the roles and responsible from them. The babysitter is not guarantee raises their kids up in the proper way than their own parents. Thus, conflict between the husband and wife will burst out and they start to blame each other. This problem left unsolved will lead them to divorce as a quickly decision.

Thirdly, lack of foundation in the marriage can cause divorce. The couple that marriage in very young age has higher rate lead to divorce according to Kitson, 1992. They were too rushing to get married without build a strong relationship foundation. Furthermore, there was also a young couple that force to marriage early by their parent. They not prepared for supporting a marriage. They will fact many problems in their beginning such as economic, financial, emotional, and experience. They are probably not mature, unable to make better decisions and handle the challenges of married life. Therefore, the marriages tend to end in divorce when young marriage couples realize that they did not share same value, belief and interest in their marriage life.

Besides that, the financial problem in the family is also another cause of divorce. The budget and debt crisis rose due to overspending habits by husband or wife in the modern life (Shamsul Amri, 2014). This is because they did not plan their budget wisely. They always spend money on things that was not needed such as entertainment, personal accessories and personal interests. As a result, argument between husband and wife will arise when financial problem occur in the family. Therefore, financial problem become a major conflict in the family. They needed money for clothes, food, house and paying various bill. Financial crisis in the family can lead them to stressful, tension and unsatisfied situation as a result of divorce.

Lack of commitment in marriage life also causes of divorce (Daniel, 2007). Marriage is an institution which needs commitment from both husband and wife. Divorce often occur when one or both marriage couple unwilling to work hard on changing themselves in order to improve their marriage life. They did not show any commitment to resolve their difficulty in marriage life together. They just let their spouse to handle every problem in the family life. The conflicts may occur when they felt unhappy and unsatisfied with their. As a result, their marriages end due to lack of commitment in the marriage life.

The insecurity in the marriage life also contributes to causes of divorce. Research have found that many women stated that they will choose to divorce if their spouse always violence and abuses her and their children physically, psychologically and sexually. This is because they felt insecure and likely unhappy living with their aggressive spouse. They have the right to be safe and secure. They cannot remain the relationship in dangerous and insecure situation. It is not surprisingly when women decide to end their marriage due to abuse cases in a family.

Unrealistic expectation also causes that contributes to divorce among marriage couple (Jonathan Kelley, 2001). Many of them enter into marriage with high expectation and value. The beginning of marriage is romantic, honeymoon and wonderful phase. They will start blaming each other when their ideal relationship expectation is failed. Some of them may get divorce when they have too high expectation toward their spouse. They expected their spouse was a perfect person and able to solve every problem that occur in their marriage life.  After marriage, they discover that their spouse have certain weakness and unable to solve every problem in the family. Therefore, unrealistic expectation of both couple lead them to get divorce when their marriage not more romantic and wonderful as beginning.

2.2 Implication of divorce

          Firstly, effect of divorce was permanently weakens the relationship between children and parents (Paul and Juliana, 2001). The single parent will fact relationship problem with their children. The bond of children with their single parent is not easy recovery as before divorce event. This is because divorce of their parent makes the children traumatizing and trust issue will occur in the single parent family. The children also need takes a long time to adjust to a new environment after divorce event. Therefore, divorce will have a negative impact on family relationship.

Besides that, the effect of divorce gives a negative impact on children academic achievement. According to Daniel Potter, he found that elementary school children who experienced parental divorce immediately lead them to worse academically performance compare to their peers who comes from intact families. The children likely to be most painful victim and become traumatic of their parent divorce events. They are not able to concentrate on their academic during the time of parent divorce. They maybe absence and escape from class. They likely bound to lose their confidence, lack of social interact and may not interest to study at all. Therefore, they have higher risk dropout and suspension from school.

Furthermore, the effect of divorce also gives an impact on children social skill. The children that have parental divorce event mostly have problem in their communication and social skill. There is a correlation studies between children of divorce and social skill by Thomas G. O’Connor, 2000. Researcher has concluded that children of divorce have more difficulties in social interaction compare to those children who comes from intact families. They tend to have very less social contact with other people. They will also likely isolate and individualistic in society. Therefore, they will have problem in intimate relationship with other during adolescent.

The effect of divorce also will increase use of drugs and alcohol among divorce parental (Robert, 1993). The divorce parental have a higher risk involved use of drug, alcohol consumption and binge drinking. This is because they want to cover painful memories and escape from reality by taking illegal drug and alcohol.  Therefore, they will choose drug or alcohol as a way to calm down their emotion and mind.  The illegal use of drug and alcohol will increase due to effect of divorce.

2.3 Recommendation to prevent divorce

Each partner must take care of their own marriage. There are 5 steps that can help to avoid divorce. The most important to get married, attend the marriage pre course. Marriage can be revealing about the nature of marriage to couples to be married. This in turn helps them to be more willing to undergo the household environment.

Besides that, finances by controlling expenses together and wisely in terms of expenditure. Undoubtedly the financial issue is one of the main causes why the occurrence of divorce. We shall determine the proposition only for owned and never buy something over the limit of capability and leads to owe. This solution can help to save more money and use it on appropriate matter.

Furthermore, married couples also should always do common interest because most of the couples who have been married will ignore their interest together. When the partner have begun to know each other, then the actual attitude will arise. So each partner should accept each other as well. Although different opinions and views make the matter as an item that can complement each other.

Other things that can be done for partner to avoid divorce is always creating good communication with spouse, especially when the occurrence of misunderstanding. Couples who are having problems should sit to discuss rather than mutually avoid up to overshadow another situation. Good communication among couple can minimize divorce in the family.

Next is married couples are required to attend programs that related to marriage so they will gain many information about the marriage environment, especially in resolving conflicts. Programmes relating to the marriage provides knowledge about how to maintain marital satisfaction in a marriage. This means couples have the satisfaction in a marriage will be happy in their marriage life.

Hence, one of the ways to avoid divorce is attend the marriage counseling sessions. Many research have proven that by attending counselling sessions most of the couples who want to divorce will cancel their intention to divorce and come back to happiness.

3.0 Conclusion

Marriage is necessary for forming a family. There are nobody married with expectation of failure. Everyone wants to have happy and wonderful marriage life.  A divorce case also was very rare in society. Unfortunately, dissolution of marriage has being a common trend and practice for a young couple in Malaysia society nowadays. Therefore, the divorce rate in Malaysia continuous to increases from year to year. The statistic department shown Malaysia has a high rate of divorce. Most of the divorces are consist of young marriage couple according to statistic.

As we know that people will not divorce without a reason. There are a lot of research has identified various causes that are associated with a higher risk for divorce. It included lack of communication, financial problem, poor parenting skills, lack of foundation, lack of commitment, insecurity and unrealistic expectation in marriage life. The divorce case also gives several implications such as weaken the family relationship, decrease children academic achievement, social skill and increase use of drug and alcohol. There was a pro and con implication of divorce to family, children and society. Lastly, there are some recommendations to prevent divorce among marriage couple.

4.0 References:

Daniel, P. (2010) Psychosocial Well-Being and the Relationship Between Divorce and Children's Academic Achievement. Journal of Marriage and the Family 72, no. 4, 944.

Daniel, J. (2007) Parental Divorce and the Types of Commitment-Related Messages People Gain from Their Families of Origin. Journal of Divorce and Remarriage 47, 23.

Elizabeth, M., & Toby, L. (1995) Social Sources of Change in Children’s Home Environments: The Effects of Parental Occupational Experiences and Family Conditions. Journal of Marriage and Family 57, 69-84.

Evans, Jonathan, Kelley & Richard, A. (2001) Educational attainment of the children of divorce: Australia, 1940-90, Journal of Sociology 37, 287.

Jeanne, M. & Stephan, D. (2003) Children’s Behavior Problems in Single-Parent and Married-Parent Families: Development of Predictive Model. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage 37, 13-34.

Kitson. G., Babri. K., & Roach, M. (1985) Who divorces and why: A review. Journal of Family Issues, 6, 255-293.

Michael, W., & John, B. (1992) Aggression, Alcohol Dependency, and Self-consciousness among High School Students of Divorced and Non-divorced Parents. Psychological Reports 71,  279-286.

Norval, D., Glenn & Kathryn, B. (1987) The Marriages and Divorces of the Children of Divorce. Journal of Marriage and Family 49, 811-825.

Paul, A. (1994) Father-Child Relations, Mother-Child Relations and Offspring Psychological Well-being in Early Adulthood. Journal of Marriage and Family 56, 1031-1042.

Richard, H., Susan, S., & William, J (1990) Divorce, Remarriage, and Adolescent Substance Use: A Prospective Longitudinal Study.  Journal of Marriage and Family52, 162.

Sylvie. D., & Camil. B, (1998) Support networks and adjustment among 6 to 11 year olds from martially disrupted and intact families. Journal of Divorce and Remarriage 19, 75-97.

Susan, E., Jacquet, A., & Catherine, S. (2001) Parental Divorce and Premarital Couples: Commitment and Other Relationship Characteristics. Journal of Marriage and Family 63, 634.

Teresa, M., Michael, A., Gunhild, O., & Robin, K. (1986) Parental Divorce in Young Adulthood: Some Preliminary Findings. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 56, 470-477.