Mental Health Issues in Family: Pedophilia

• Introduction

            News of a Mara scholar student had hit Malaysia a few weeks ago. The Star Online (2015) reported that, Nur Fitri Azmeer Nordin had 30,000 videos and photos of smut, in which the British police said was the most extreme child porn they had ever come across. This issue then had been viral, and Malaysian started open their eyes to look into it. However, Astroawani (2015) has claimed that, this is not new because previously the murder of Nurin Jazlin Jazimin once becomes a hot topic in 2007, where the eight-year-old was kidnapped and sexually assaulted and murdered. Her body was later found stuffed inside a bag. Hence, it is just a matter of society awareness regarding this issue.

            Pedophilia defined by the International Classification of Diseases (ICD) as the “sexual preference for children, boys or girls or both, usually of prepubertal or early pubertal age”. While, pedophilia term in Malaysia Law is more familiar as Statutory rape. Ibrahim (2014) stated that,

In Malaysia, rape is one of the capital crimes whenever violence is involved in order to assault women for the purpose of having unlawful sex intercourse with force. Statutory rape is the crime similar in nature, but specifically, statutory rape is involved when the age of the victim is less than sixteen years old. Malaysian Penal Code (Act 574) (hereinafter PC) is the only single statute which codified offence of statutory rape in Malaysia.

            Again an unreliable news on 14^th May 2015, where, a father had acquitted and discharged reasoning that it was unsafe to convict him of rape charges based on the minor's testimony. The man scientifically proven to be the father of a child conceived by a 14-year-old can be let off free, while the girl struggles to care of the baby. This news had get everyone attention. Above all, people now are aware on pedophilia, statutory rape, molestation or whatever named given, yet this issue had not taken seriously within authorities.

This paper is about, Pedophilia: Hoe it impact Family Institution. So, this paper presented about pedophilia, the causes of pedophilia, and the impact of pedophilia.

• Causes of issue

            What are the indicators of pedophile issue? There are several factors been identified as the contributors which can be divided into to two parts, namely internal factors and external factors. Personality factor is recognized as the major reason in internal factors causing someone to be a pedophilic while disruption in social relationship is the major contributor in the external factors.

·         Internal: Impulsive, antisocial personality

            Dwyer, Robinson and Travis (2000) in their research states that a history of impulsive, antisocial behavior is a well-documented risk factor associated with some child molesters. Child molesters who committed their first sexual offense in adolescence had histories of being disruptive in school either verbally or physically attacking peers and teachers, showed high levels of juvenile antisocial behavior. However, when they become adult, the situation becomes worst.  They revealed a greater degree of nonsexual aggression. For some types of child molesters, sexual offenses are part of a longer illegal history, reflecting an antisocial lifestyle and impulsive behavioral traits that probably had been present from childhood.

·         External: Disruption of social relationship

Social factors have also been identified as potential contributing and or identifying factors for pedophilia and sex offending. Research has indicated a correlation between the ability to form and maintain relationship among the offenders. (Olshan, 2014). Normally, this ability is developed via a learning process that begins at birth and continues through childhood and adolescence and into adulthood. However, the disruption occurs when there is a frequency of changes in primary caregivers and the longest time spent with any single caregiver; it reflects the stability and consistency of the child’s interpersonal relationships with significant adults (Reno, Dwyer, Robinson and Travis, 2000).

  Caregiver inconstancy, a powerful predictor of the degree of sexual violence expressed in adulthood, interferes with the development of long-term supportive relationships, increasing the likelihood of an attachment disorder. Reno, Dwyer, Robinson and Travis, (2000) also states that attachment disorders may be characterized by intense anxiety, distrust of others, insecurity, dysfunctional anger, and failure to develop normal age-appropriate social skills. Thus, specifiable early childhood experiences may lead to interpersonal deficits and low self-esteem that severely undermine development of secure adult relationships. Individuals having these interpersonal and social shortcomings are more likely than others to turn to children to meet their psychosexual needs.

• Impact of issue to the family

            Pedophilia issue mainly impact on two major areas in family which are family bonding and family financial. For the pedophiles issues in family, research lean towards focus on the relationship of family dynamics to the sexual offense or on recidivism of convicted pedophiles (Muscari, 2007). Pedophilia experienced normally affects the abused child psychologically. Studies have found that the children abused by pedophiles have higher measures of trauma, depression, and neurosis on standardized psychometric testing. These children often have problems with long-term intimacy and feelings of guilt and shame over their role in the incident (Levenson & Tewksbury, 2009). Obviously this will created unhealthy atmosphere within the family. All this will affect the whole system of the family. The relationship with family members will be not strong as it supposed to be because the children may be closed to the family members because the child will not function well in her/his roles in the family.

            In addition, after the offender starts to develop the relationships, he/she may begin to isolate the child from his/her family and friends. This may include stimulating conflicts within the family, distancing the child from friends or family or simply being available to help out with babysitting, special outings, rides home and so on (Jensen & Jensen, n.d).

            Apart from that, family members living with a registered sex offender (RSO) were more likely to experience threats and harassment by neighbors. Children of RSOs in the other hand reportedly experienced adverse consequences including stigmatization and differential treatment by teachers and classmates (Levenson & Tewksbury, 2009).

            Giugliano (2011), a clinical social worker says that sexual abuse is “very divisive” for the families of abusers. In cases of incest, when the victim is a member of the abuser’s family, the trustworthiness between abuser and the victim will be broken.

            Besides that, the issues of pedophilia will create financial problem within the family. Legal fees can be overwhelming for families who do not qualify for legal aid. Moreover, imprisonment usually results in job loss for the offender. Declining income can lead to the loss of the family materials physical needs. The incarceration itself is a further drain on family finances because the family must pay for the inmate's clothing, phone, medical, and other costs. (Muscari, 2007). Employment problems experienced by the RSO, and subsequent financial hardships, emerged as the most pressing issue identified by family members (Levenson & Tewksbury, 2009).  Financial problem obviously will give great pressure to the family.

• Roles of counselor

            For pedophilia issues, counselors really have very important roles to help the family to move on. Counselor can be helper to help both family of the offender and the victim. Many psychological areas affected by the issues within both families. Although no treatment for pedophilia is effective unless the pedophile is willing to engage in the treatment, but there where the roles of counselor is important to make sure that the pedophile can help him/herself and the family.

            According to Ryan & Richard (2007), currently, much of the focus of pedophilic treatment is on stopping further offenses against children rather than altering the pedophile’s sexual orientation toward children. Other interventions designed to manage these pedophilic urges include careful forensic and therapeutic monitoring and reporting, use of testosterone-lowering medications, use of SSRIs, and surgical castration. A popular treatment option is testosterone suppression by pharmacologic means (eg, antiandrogenic therapy or chemical castration).

Besides that, the implementation of preventative treatment programs to help pedophiles avoid engaging in sex offending behaviors has not been widely studied. (Olshan, 2014).  However, several countries have been successful in implementing programs in this effort. Olshan (2014) states that a media campaign, which provided the general public with information about the program was launched. The media campaign was designed to communicate empathy for the situation of the individuals, no judgment regarding the individual, guarantee of no criminal consequences, assurance of confidentiality, and reduction of guilt and shame.

• Conclusion

            In conclusion, pedophilia is compulsive, psychosexual disorder with profound implications for the abused child, perpetrator, and community. Thus, issue of pedophilia cannot be put aside as the children will be the generation that will create future’s history. Society and especially professional helper need to understand the causes and impact of this issue in view of family well-being. It is important for counselor to understand the various types of pedophiles, the profile of the abused children, and the offenders’ responses to treatment and their risk for repeated offense. Children need to be thought in their tender age to be open with family in who they contact with. The adults in fact need to willingly lend their ears to listen to the children if they feel insecure and take haste action if the issues once it can be identified. Parents cannot be denied as the vessel or the shelter to the well-being of the children socially.

 Written by,

Carolyn anak Kerani

Nurlatifah Abdul Rahim @ Halmi

Nurul Fatihah Amir

Communication among Family Members

Communication is very important for human beings. Communication is about caring, giving, sharing, and affirming among family members. Communication can be in form of words or nonverbal action. Words are the basic tools of verbal language. However, much of interaction is nonverbal communication, for example touching, smiling, doing good things for others and making time for each other.

Venderber and Verdeber (as cited in Ali and Rahim, 2008), communication is a message conveyed by sender and receiver needs time to understand the message clearly and precisely. This statement also has emphasized by Turner and Helms (1988), in which communication requires the exchange of information, communication, signals and messages between people. Communication within the family is extremely important because it enables members to express their needs, wants, and concerns to each other (Peterson & Green, 2009). For instance, open and honest communication creates an atmosphere that allows family members to express their differences as well as love and admiration for one another. 

Credit: Google Image

             Zhang (as cited in Abu Bakar, Abd Aziz, Mohd Amin, Che Noh and Ariffin, 2011) stated that maintaining family ties are very important. Thus, one of characteristics of a strong family is the member able to communicate with each other. Thames & Thomason stated, “Without genuine listening and sharing of self, member cannot know one another” (2008). According to Mottan, Abdullah, Mohamed (2002), communication within the family context can be defined as exchange or sharing of information such as opinions and values ​​and feelings like love and anger among family members. Ministry of Science, Technology and Innovation (2011) stated that "way of communication is describing the special features of family life".

Mottan and her friends explained, "Communication between parents and child are often aimed for educating, guiding and sharing love". Saedah (2010) also emphasized this point where by "parents need to build a close relationship with children so that they will be able to receive and understand meaning to be conveyed". If the meanings interpreted wrongly, it will cause an increased risk of conflict, crisis. This has been stressed by Peterson & Green (2009) in which poor communication among family members is also associated with divorce, marital separation and social problems in their children. Peterson and Green (2009) support and justify that, “poor communication is unclear and indirect”. Peterson and Green (2009) mentioned that “it can lead to numerous family problems, including excessive family conflict, ineffective problem solving, lack of intimacy, and weak emotional bonding.”

Communication is much than just the exchange of words. It is what we say, how we say it, why we say it, when we say it, and what we avoid to say. It is our facial expressions, our gestures, our posture, and our vocal tones. Communication includes both verbal and nonverbal language (Thames & Thomason, 1998). According to Thames & Thomason (1998), nonverbal language includes posture and body position, facial expressions, tone of voice, gestures and mannerisms and behaviour and actions.

Widjaja (2000) stated that in order to achieve harmony relationship in the family, family members should have good interpersonal communication so that they feel confident facing outside world, controlling attitude and behaviour. Widjaja (2000) also explained there are three factors that affecting interpersonal communication which are openness, empathy to other’s experiences and lastly not hide or defend themselves in the wrong way. Interpersonal communication also helps individuals to understand how and why they communicate in different ways to build community and respect in reality (Tay, 2013). For example, communicate with family members are different compared to communicate between members of an organization or society. According Maimunah (as cited in Tay, 2013), communication is a way to educate people about something. Tay said, "Interpersonal communication will not be effective without the use of human senses wisely" (2013).

The communication process has influenced by several factors such as attitude, personality and relationships (Turner and Helms, 1988). For example, a happy couple would have better understanding on the non-verbal messages. Mostly, children communicate by using non-verbal language, as their level of delivery is limited (Ministry of Science, Technology and Innovation, 2011). Mottan and her colleagues (2002) found that the attitudes of parents toward their roles and responsibilities are greatly influence the upbringing style, communication style and discussion style to children. For example, parents who do not know or have little knowledge of education regarding educator’s responsibility certainly cannot talk about school matter with their children. Therefore, parents as head of the family should plan to make their home as a place for their children feel accepted, safe and so on.

Furthermore, parents need to be aware and be patient with the messages or behaviour demonstrated by the child. Saedah (2010) stated, "Feeling plays a very important role in communication because if a person experiences feelings of joy, this will make it easier for them to communicate or express an opinion." For example, touch is one of the most important ways in non-verbal communication. Cuddle and hug will give warmth to children and they will feel secured when they are sad or disappointed. Even if the words were firm, touches such as hugging will be able to convince a child that behind punishment there is a love.

Communication also plays an important role in order to get information on the role, duties and responsibilities, particularly the aspect of change in children in terms of biological, physiological, self-concept, identity and their role (Bakar, 1999). Parents and children can create a balanced and harmony relationship and create an atmosphere of openness and mutual listening to each other via effective communication (Saedah, 2010). Umberson (as cited in Noh and Yusooff, 2011) explains that relationship and good communication with parents is able to create a strong bond and leads to positive treatment.

Credit: Google Image

Noh and Yusooff (2011) also expressed openness to share between members of families where parents are more open to communicate with their children than the children's will feel open to share with them. This study supported by Howard (as cited in Noh and Yusooff, 2011), in which parents argue they are more open to family communication compared to the perception of their children. In addition, there is a difference in communication between boys and girls. According to Montemayorn (as cited in Frydenberg, 1997), girls are easier in communicating than boys.

Understanding good communication is very important to avoid possibility of conflict arise in order to achieve a good relationship among family member. This statement also been stressed by Levin and Currie (2010), in which open and easy communication between parents and their children may, therefore as a key to mediating the effects of unavoidable family change. Therefore, compatibility and time spent with family is required to ensure a balance in life.

Parents have to communicate with their children to expose the outside family in a good manner and think a good way of life to help them face the reality. For example, parents have to get into the world of children and try to appreciate the way they see the world. It is also emphasized by the Ministry of Science, Technology and Innovation (2011), in which parents should not rush your child to express their views as the views were stupid or senseless. This is where the importance of communication need to take part in shaping a life of happiness and peace.

There are four styles of communication examine by Epstein, Bishop, Ryan, Miller, & Keitner (as cited in Peterson & Green, 2009). The first style is directive and easy to understand.  This style is most preferable for family members to communicate to each other. The message sends directly and clearly to be understood. For example, when a son was disappointed about his family well-being; he said to his mother “mom, I’m disappointed with our family well-being now. If we try to have a policy to this family, it would be good. I really want our family become a great family.” The second style of communication is a clear message but not direct to the particular family member. For instance, “I feel disappointed when family institution not structured well. In this message, mother did not know that son was referring to their own family.”

Moreover, the third style is direct but unclear communication. The sentence delivered is not clear but direct to the person. As an example, the son could say something to his mother like, “Mom, a happy day comes when people know others feeling.” Finally, the forth style is unclear and not direct communication. This style was unhealthy style and should be avoided in family communication because the message and intended member are unclear. The son could say, “The family nowadays is not functioning well.”

Some of challenges that have been facing by families’ institution are family members are less likely to be closed with each other and role neglected in the family system. These challenges will give negative impacts towards family members such as becoming individualistic person and spending limited time for family and society because of their job demands. A development of child becomes inhibited as a result of these challenges. According to Coleman (as cited in Ismail, 2009), children’s development does not run well because their parents neglected their responsibilities to educate, control and monitor behaviour and activities of their children. This situation influences children to be independently, started to try new things, socialize with peers. This may form social issues as reported by The Rakyat Post (2015) in which a septic maintenance contractor found a baby cutting fifteen at septic tanks.

Moreover, looseness in the family system is one of these challenges as stated by Ismail (2009). Currently, development in Malaysia has provided many job opportunities from a variety of fields. Therefore, people tend to migrate and fill in this vacancy. Migration may affect the transition of extended family into the nuclear family. The bonding between family members becomes weaker. On the other hand, every family member plays a number of roles in life such as an employee, mother, daughter, and friend. They expected to behave in that role and when they cannot accomplish the expected behaviour, conflict within the self or with other people will arise. Simultaneously stress will be one of the factors. The situation in which parents’ involvement in their career that can affect their psychological well-being and their children as well. For instance, they need to focus on child welfare and handle their workloads at the same time. If they are unable to control their stress, it may lead to cases of divorce, abuse, domestic violence and the involvement of children in social issues (Ismail, 2009).

These challenges can be resolved by taking wise steps such, as identify problems. Tellerman (n.d) mentioned that simply identifying and listing out problems could lead to unproductive reciprocal blame games. On the other hand, using a solution-focused approach helps direct the discussion towards a more productive endpoint (Tellerman, n.d.). The problem and goal should be examined by observable behaviours. A solution focused approach encourages the family to think about what each member will be doing differently when the problem is solved, focusing on positive action (Tellerman, n.d). For instance, clinician can ask, “What will each of you be doing differently when the problem is solved?”

Next, the second step will be brainstorming technique. Once the problem and goal defined by observable behaviours, the family can be asked to come up with potential solutions that will lead to the desired result. According to Tellerman (n.d.), all suggestions no matter how outrageous should be list at this stage. He added, “Practitioner can also make suggestions, but it is best to let the family take the lead so that they remain invested in implementing the devised plan” (n.d.).

At the step of selecting and implementing a solution, the family should select a solution that they are willing to implement and shall be done when everyone is calm. The plan should be kept simple and a compromise should be adopted that everyone can live with and agree upon (Tellerman, n.d.). At this point, being assertive and cooperative is crucial thing to do in order to preserve the relationship for future. Moreover, parents should be clear about their expectations but should listen seriously to their child’s perspective (Tellerman, n.d.).

A solution should be sought that embraces a spirit of compromise such as “I am willing to do washing clothes if you in turn are willing to do cleaning bedroom”. The goal helps the family to determine their priority that can help them make decisions beneficial towards the welfare of themselves. According to Tellerman (n.d.), contingency plans should be discussed to consider what the family will do if the plan does not go smoothly.

One of approaches that families can utilize to improve communication is active listening in which parents can be encouraged to engage in “active listening” with their children and teenagers. Tellerman (n.d) proposed that this approach would entail listening to their child and empathetically feeding back what the parent perceives to be the underlying concern. For instance, parents may respond like this “It sounds like you are really upset because your teacher yelled at you” when their child complained about their school life.

Moreover, “I” versus “You” Messages can help to build good relationship. This approach allows parents to frame concerns in a way that does not put their child or teenager on the defensive (Tellerman, n.d). “You” messages tend to be attack messages and are more likely to lead to conflict. For example, “I am upset when you get home late because I am concerned that something bad may have happened” instead of saying “I am sick and tired of your getting home late when you are out with your friends”. This imposes different meaning by showing their concern and loving sense.

Parents should recognize when their kids and teens have engaged in appropriate behaviours (Tellerman, n.d). A simple acknowledgement from their parents can reinforce positive behaviours towards children for example, “I am glad to see that you are trying harder in school”. Their children will feel appreciated, more motivated towards their goals in life, especially in their study.    

As a conclusion,  effective communication is an important characteristic of strong, healthy families. Communication as an essential building block of strong marital, parent-child, and sibling relationships. Families that communicate in healthy ways are more capable of problem-solving and tend to be more satisfied with their relationships.the best style of communication is an clear and directive communication. other style like clear message but not direct to the particular family member. The third style is direct but unclear communication. Finally, the forth style is unclear and not direct communication. This style was unhealthy style and should be avoided in family communication because the message and intended member are unclear.

 

Prepared by:

Aidilla Farahin binti Zakaria

Noor Syifaa binti Othman

REFERENCES

Abu Bakar, A., Abd Aziz, W., Mohd Amin, W., Che Noh, H., C. & Mohamed Ariffin, Y., M. (2011), Hubungan komunikasi keluarga dalam menangani konflik dalam kalangan remaja. Jurnal Pengajian Media Malaysia, 13(1), pp. 73–89.

Bakar, A., R. (1999). Komunikasi keluarga dan salah laku remaja. Sintok, Malaysia: Universiti Utara Malaysia.

Frydenberg, E. 1997. Adolescent coping: theoretical and research perspectives. London, UK: Routledge.

Hazwani, A. (2011). Masalah bahasa dan komunikasi. Retrieved from http://www.scribd.com/doc/52680793/KAJIAN-MASALAH-BAHASA-DAN-KOMUNIKASI#scribd    

Ismail, R. (2009). Kaunseling keluarga dan perkahwinan. Sabah, Malaysia: Universiti Malaysia Sabah.

 Kementerian Sains, Teknologi dan Inovasi (2011), Tips komunikasi dengan anak. Putrajaya, Malaysia: Unit Pengurusan Psikologi.

Levin, A., K. & Currie, C. (2010). Family structure, mother-child communication, father-child communication, and adolescent life satisfaction. Health Education, 110(3), pp. 152-168.

Mottan, J., Abdullah, R., & Muhamed, A., A. (2002). Keluarga dan keibubapaan. Serdang, Malaysia: Universiti Putra Malaysia. 

Noh, C. H., & Yusooff, F. (2011). Corak komunikasi keluarga dalam kalangan keluarga melayu di Terengganu. Journal Hadhari, pp. 45-62.

Peterson R. and Green, S., V. (2009). Families first: keys to successful family functioning communication. Retrieved from https://pubs.ext.vt.edu/350/350-092/350-092_pdf.pdf

Saedah (2010, April 27). Berkomunikasi dengan anak remaja. Utusan Malaysia. Retrieved from http://ww1.utusan.com.my/utusan/info.asp?y=2010&dt=0427&pub=Utusan_Malaysia&sec=Keluarga&pg=ke_03.htm

Tay, M., G. (2013). Komunikasi interpersonal dalam kalangan pelajar Institut Pendidikan Guru semasa praktikum, Jurnal Penyelidikan, 11, pp. 1-17.

Turner, S., J. & Helms, B., D. (1988). Marriage and family traditions and transitions. America, US: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich.

Tan, A., S. (2015, Mei 18).  Perbuatan potong bayi akibat terdesak. The Rakyat Post. Retrieved from http://bm.therakyatpost.com/berita/2015/05/18/perbuatan-potong-bayi-akibat-terdesak/

Tellerman, K. (n.d). Brief interventions: family communication problems. Retrieved from http://www.mdaap.org/Bi_Ped_Fam_Comm_Prob.pdf

Widjaja. (2000). Ilmu komunikasi pengantar studi. Rineka Cipta. Retrieved from http://library.um.ac.id/free-contents/index.php/buku/detail/ilmu-komunikasi-pengantar-studi-h-a-w-widjaja-25733.html

DIVORCE

1.0              Introduction

The phenomenon of divorce has become a major concern for both demographers and individuals. Surprisingly, the developed and developing nations illustrate a rather similar trend of divorce. Many studies concerning divorce had been conducted especially in the West to investigate the pattern of divorce as well factors that that are related to divorce. It is estimate that every 15 minutes, a couple get divorced (Bersatu Teguh Bercerai Roboh, 2006). Besides, there were also a couple who marriage last for at least 24 months and found their marriage has broken down irretrievably, a divorce is necessary to bring the relationship to a formal end.

Usually, people go to a marriage and family therapist for help with some aspect of a family system, or a marital, parent-child, or love relationship. In some cases, people want their family system to function more effectively. In other cases, there is a family problem that needs solving, a change that requires adjustment, or a difficult decision that needs to be made.

2.0       Journals review

2.1       Divorce, family conflict, and adolescent’s wellbeing

This research examined the relative effects of family conflicts and divorce on the well-being of adolescents. There are four hypothesis that had been mention in this journal article regarding the relative effect of divorce and family conflict. The first hypothesis state that the deleterious effect of family conflict are expected to be more damaging than the effect of divorce or separation from a parent. Second hypothesis state that children of divorce who go on to live in a conflict free setting are expected to experience less distress than those in intact family characterized. The third hypotheses expect that the negative effect of divorce to be mediated through the stressful life event that often accompany divorce. The fourth is, expectation of negative effect of divorce and family conflict.

The result from this study had supported the first hypothesis which is the family conflict would have more direct effects on longitudinal changes in well-being than would divorces, current separation from parents, or parental death. The family conflict would have more negative effect on the well-being of adolescents than would divorce or separation.

The test show that the children from a divorce living in a conflict free setting would have significantly higher level of well-being than those living in intact families characterized by higher level of conflicts. There was also evidence that in some instances divorce may protect adolescents from harmful and damaging family interaction. The hypothesis of three and four was not supported as the life event and the perceived quality of relationship with parents did not have the significant main effect on adolescent wellbeing over time. Relationships between parents in conflict, and between parents and their children, are far more complex than our measures revealed.

2.2       The support of cooperative parenting at divorce

The main objective of this article is to discuss a suitable programs for supporting cooperative parenting. The reason is to reduce the psychological and social risks of child development during the process of divorce. The example of educational programs for divorcing parents are Parent Handbook Program offered by University of Vermont Extension. Pavelova (2012) presents the socio-educational programs for groups of children with different forms of problem behavior that could be used to support the children of divorce as well.

            The aim for protection is to create best conditions for child’s development, which all best encounter their development needs and protect their essential interests. One of the basis child’s rights is the right to have contact with both parents if that contact does not threaten the child or any of the child’s rights. The important requirement is that both parents have the capacity to care for the child and had a personal interest in child care.

            It is important to support parents in supportive parenting. The important thing parent should know when divorce is to have the details of an agreement. The agreement which should include all important social and financial arrangements of the child’s every day live such as place of living, health care, school, meeting friends and close family members besides holiday. Parents of divorce could get professional help or support on cooperative parenting. McConnel and Sim (2000) said the effectiveness of counseling services for children had shown that therapy effect of children was better when parents themselves successfully coped with divorce and considered intervention for children as useful. The parent’s ability to understand the emotions of their children increases when parents realized their own experiencing and try to understand it.

The first topic activities have be prepared Slovakia in the program of cooperative parenting support focus on psychological process related to reliving of divorce and changing emotional relationships with partner. The second topic is concerned with experiencing divorce or separation by children. The third topic aims to expand cooperative communication and relationships between both parents. Self-evaluating questioners or scale which help to find out what the clients need or how emotional the parents feel are also used.

2.3       The relationship between perceived interparental conflict and Malaysian young adult adults’ attitudes toward divorce

            This study proposed that further investigation of the relationship between perceived interparental conflict and subsequent attitudes toward divorce is warranted within the context of a non-Western population, Malaysians. Although there were positive association found with western culture with Malaysian culture, it is argued in this study that Malaysian young adults will hold negative attitudes toward divorce as a result of their collectivist ideals. It is hypothesized it is argued in this study that Malaysian young adults will hold negative attitudes toward divorce as a result of their collectivist ideals.

            The participants of this study consisted of 160 Malaysian adults (69 men, 91 women) between 18 and 30 years old. They were from families where the parents are not divorced or separated and were proficient in English to complete the instrument used in this study. The instrument used in this study were (1) The Likelihood of Divorce Scale by Mulder and Gunnoe (1999, (2) The Perceptions of Interparental Conflict−Intensity/Frequency Scale (PIC–I/F) by Klein et al. (1999) to measure an individual’s perceptions of the current conflict that occurs between their parents.

            Participants were recruited thought social networking site Facebook. The Attitude towards Divorce Scale was administered first before PIC–I/F to ensure that responses on the attitude scale would not be influenced by the priming of negative events by the conflict scale. Results shows that there was a significant effect for the interparental conflict variable only, t (158) = –3.02, p < .01, women have higher level of interparental conflict compared to men. The hypothesis that Malaysian young adults will hold negative attitudes toward divorce as a result of their collectivist ideals is rejected in this study. A positive relationship was found between perceived intensity and frequency of interparental conflict and attitudes toward divorce in males and females, respectively; however, the associations were weak.

3.0       Discussion

            According to Amato and Sobolewski (2001), children of divorce parents are also more likely to experience conflict in their own marriages, and are more likely to experience divorce themselves. They are also more likely to be involved in short-term cohabiting relationships, which often dissolve before marriage. A research examined the relative effects of family conflicts and divorce on the well-being of adolescents by David and Stephen (1989) hypothesized a negative effect on the adolescents.

There were four hypothesis in this research. However, only two out of four hypothesis were accepted and the other were rejected. The accepted hypothesis were (1) the family conflict would have more direct effects on longitudinal changes in well-being than would divorces, current separation from parents, or parental death; the family conflict would have more negative effect on the well-being of adolescents than would divorce or separation, and (2) children of divorce who go on to live in a conflict free setting are expected to experience less distress than those in intact family characterized. Moreover, children who have experience a divorce parents frequently have lower academic achievement than the children from non-divorced family. From family and school factors related to adolescents’ academic performance, it noted that a child from a divorced family is two times more likely to drop out of high school than a child from no-divorced family (Amato and Sobolewski, 2001).

            To relate the first journal with the second, the right interventions for divorced parents and their children can help children to experience positive effect even after their divorce. The article objective is to have a suitable programs for supporting cooperative parenting. Even after divorce, when they are no longer husband and wife, they are still parents to their children. This kind of programs stress the importance of parents to be reliable and still take care of their children. Examples of right thing to do after divorce is to have the details of an agreement. With the agreement, parents can know what they should do with their kids and who should be responsible for certain cases.

            Intervention can prevent adolescents from negative effect of divorce as in the first journal. The well-being of the adolescent or children take care by the mother or father; the father will make sure that the children have enough expenses and equipment for school and the mother can look after the adolescent social activities. Parent’s ability to understand their children emotions can be better when parents realized their own experiencing and try to understand it. They should understand the children’s needs so that the children can better performance in life and academic.

            Sabatelli and Ripoll (2004) stated that marriages in the past were perhaps no happier than marriages today; rather, the increased incidence of divorce is a result of a greater willingness of contemporary couples to terminate unsatisfactory relationships. The growing divorce rate has broaden (Kamaruddin, 2005) can be associated with children of divorce parents are also more likely to experience conflict in their own marriages. When a child perceives intensity and frequency of interparental conflict in a positive ways, the attitudes toward divorce will also be positive.

            Children’s perception, interpretation, and evaluation of their parents’ conflict could vary significantly, and be dependent on a number of factors. Given that children possess differing cognitive abilities and collective experiences that influence their appraisals, expectations, and consequent actions during different developmental stages, age is one such factor (Grych & Fernandes, 2001). Gender is also one of the factors affecting children perceive and react to intermarital conflict.

4.0       Conclusion

             When a divorce occurs the children are not the only ones effects but include also parents and siblings of the divorced couple also may become very involved in the process. When divorced spouses remain at war with one another it is likely to affect extended relationships in the child’s relationship system. Good divorce are those in which the children can easily maintain relationship with both parents and their comprehensive systems. When parents are able to reduce their conflicts properly well to co-parent their children effectively, the children continue to have relationships with both parents and maintain their sense of biological family. Well-being is a social concept and how children perceive the effect of their parent’s divorce and the result changes in their lives is dominant to understanding the personal experience of divorce and its impact.

BY:

ARIF

FATEEN

SYUHADA 

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