Issue in Family: Divorce

Issue in Family: Divorce

 prepared by Madline Bernai Anak Jawa & Liong Hui Mei

Introduction

Nowadays, there are various issues and problems occur in the family. In this assignment, we specifically focus on the divorce issues in the family.So, this assignment will discuss about the statistics of divorce, the causes of the divorce, risk and impact of the divorce and the prevention to reduce the divorce among the family. The first keyword of our assignment is family. As we know that any civilization in this world considered that family is the basic unit. According to the Oxford dictionary, family this word defines as a group that including two parents and their children that living together as a unit. Therefore, we can determine that if any wound that occur in the institution of the family will make the breaking down happen in the unit. At the same time, it will involve to plague in the society as an indeed. The second keyword of our assignment is divorce. According to Oxford dictionary also defines that divorce as the legal dissolution in the marriage between the spouses. So, actually the divorce happen in the marriage is the ending of the family life. If the any outbreak is attacked the family institution, and the members of the family did not solve the outbreak as soon as possible, it will leads to the difficulties among the family members. Actually the divorce happen when the outbreaks did not recover and continuously.

The divorce issue can happen and found in every society in this earth. But, the rate of divorce is different based on the society it is because every society have their own lifestyle and also because of others living factors. In Malaysia we can witness that the social lives and economic have a huge growth.  The lifestyles of Malaysia have changed due to the enormous growth in social lives and economic. According to Kausar (2005), the divorce in Malaysia achieved a very high percentage. Based on the statistics, the average of the divorce have get up to 20% per year and the majority of the divorce cases happen among the Muslims. According to Boo (2014), indicated that “One divorce in Malaysia every 10 minutes”. In 2012, there are 56760 divorce cases was recorded, which is this number are equivalent to a breaking down in marriage in every 10 minutes.

According to the Department of Islamic Development Malaysia (Jakim), in 2004, the total number of 112262 Muslim couples that have marriage and this total number was increase in 2012 until 148806 couples had marriage. As the same time, the total number had marriage of non-Muslims is more unpredictable. For the non-Muslims couples, in 2004, 57530 couples had marriage but this number was decrease on the next year, then the number increase and decrease again until the year of 2012, the total number of 65003 couples had registered in marriage. Actually, what happen between the spouses that make the divorce occur, the increasing number of marriage at the same time the number of divorce was also increase. According to the statistics given by the Syariah Judiciary Department Malaysia (JKSM),the total numbers of divorce among Muslims couple is dramatically increasing by 2.3 times from 20916 in 2004 to 47740 in 2012 and in 2013 the total number of divorce is 49311. Besides that, the total number divorce of non-Muslims is critically higher from 3291 divorce cases in 2004, increasing by 2.7 times to 9020 cases in 2012. This statistics are latest that provided by Statistic Department (Boo, 2014).

Reasons or Factors of Divorce

As we know that, there are many factors that cause the divorce happen in the marriage. One of the reasons is because of infidelity.The infidelities are occurring between the husband and wife.For us, maybe we will understand it is having a sex with someone other than the husband or wife or the spouses has committed adultery. In the reality, the infidelity was not only in action or in sex relationship. But, actually it is about the respect and faith between the marriage partners. According to Sheri and Stritof (2008), defines that marriage is a contract of social between two people that unites their live together legitimately, emotionally and economically. That means when it comes to contract between individual everyone must be respect to each othe’s. The respect and faith can avoid divorce occur, women are more likely than men to be sadness and incompatibility such as emotional and relational issues (Cleek & Pearson, 1985). When facing with emotion, the husband and wife need to know the way to keep the happiness family together. So, the infidelity issues can make the divorce happen in the family.

Besides that,the divorce also causes by socioeconomic status that is usually including income and education.Previous research had been done that income and education is one of the factors that make the divorce occur (Voydanoff, 1991). To help the family to resolve the differences, the level of education is more effective communication between the spouses.In contrast, the stress happen because of different opinion in solving financial problem, it had influenced the expressions of emotional on the spouses (Conger et al., 1990). So, the socioeconomic status is a risk of divorce among the married partner. According to Kitson (1992),indicated that a person showing a high socioeconomic status that make the divorcehappen it is because of critically lack of communication between the married couple.In contrast, a person that having low socioeconomic are more likely criticize about financial issues, going out with boy or girl, neglect of household duties, physical abuse, lack of love and employment issues.

According to Doherty (n. d.) indicated that the partner marriage at a very young age will increase the likelihood toward divorce, specifically in the early years of the marriage.   The higher divorce rates are happen in those who marry in their teen’s years. It is because there are still not enough mature.In contrast, the person who marriage until their age around 20s are possibly are more mature in making a well decision on their marriage and able to handle the challenges in their married life with their partner compare to those married in teen’s year. Based on the research done by Doherty (n. d.) indicated that 46% of the Utah adults saying that married in teen’s age is one of the factor that causes divorce.

In addition, the important factor leads to divorce is poor parenting skills that had been prove.It is because of the father and the mother do not know the good way to take care of their children and do not know the responsibilities of each one in the house. Usually,the spouses just send their children to kindergarten every day until their finish the jobs then will come to fetch their kids from kindergarten.  Both of the husband and wife are no guarantees that the babysitters would take care of the kids in the proper ways that assume by the spouses.Until the problem happen toward the kids that the spouse started to complain and blame each other's because the problem happen on their kids. At the same time, both of them are concentrating on their jobs until did not solve the matters in proper way, after a long time it will make the spouse stress and finally they seems the best way to solve the problem is divorce.

Risk and Impact of Divorce

Risks and implications of divorce will be happen to who are divorced beginning at an early age especially to the teen that early marriage. These issues will make them feel unstable to managing the household and taking care of their children. Financial problem also can disturbing their emotions because not have a permanent job to support his or her life to move on.  MacKinnon, Stoneman, and Brody (1982) suggested that the divorce working mother will be impact their children psychological as well because less of their attention and social stimulation for their children. Lack of family supports also make them feel stressful and become depressed because of irrational thoughts and cannot manage their lives.

Divorced issues also can giving risks and impact to the children emotional and behavioural where the child will get easily distracted and become more changes. Children who have a family divorce cases often suffer emotionally disturbed because less has a pay attention and affection of his or her father or mother. Teens who have high levels of conflict and are often involved in the issue of domestic violence is due to the influence of their  parent’s divorce (Amato et al., 1995; Booth & Amato, 2001). Teens that have a family divorce also have lower academic achievement compared with teens that have a perfect family (Sun and Li, 2002).

Besides that, divorce will impacts to the emotions and behavioural women that already have a child before them divorce. Most of housewife cannot separate from her children because her always take care them when husband go to working. The husband will be take a responsibilities as a guardian to their child until their child become 18 years because of supporting of the financial than the wife. Separate from her child will make the housewife become stressful, depressed and anxiety because always think about their child life. The housewife cannot accepted that the divorce because of other reasons where that will impact her life to become a high depression and anxiety.

Prevention towards Divorce      

Divorce can be solved by maintaining a marriage and not choose to divorced. The couple should be interacts very well when faced with a problem and try to resolve the matter properly and carefully. Good and effective action in establishing a sincere relationship will be produce a very friendly relationship and intimacy between the spouses. The couple must be caring and always asks her partner‘What should I do?and‘What has been done by a partner? and try to listen and respond well to what has been discussed by the partner. Persuasions skill is important to both of the spouses that using a dialogue method (Sherman & J.R, 1987).

Divorce also can be overcome by spending the time and giving a pay attention to their partners as well as to their children. Many couples give a reasons for not spending the time and giving a pay attention to their partner because of not having enough time and really busy with his or her working. Supposedly, the couple have to make a schedule together for dating and outing together. Furthermore, a man needs to know about his wife  emotions that constantly changing and trying to understand what happened to his wife so that will not impact to their relationships. The spouses also should be attending the marriage programs to know more understanding about the family. The individual that attend the family program will getting more information about the family, lower combined rates of breakup or divorce and had a higher levels of relationship satisfaction (Markman et al.,1988).

The spouses also can attend to the family counselling session to avoid the divorce that will be happen. The spouses will get insight to improve their relationship become more stable when same discuss together to resolve their problem. The counsellor will give an intervention or homework that suitable to the spouses that can give a new insight to them to build a strong love between them. School counsellors and mental health professionals also must being encouraged to work together to develop on school site or peer support groups for children from divorce family (Farmer, 1993).

Conclusion

As a conclusion, divorce will be impact the emotion and social pressure to both of the spouses including their children. The responsibility in marriage is very hard and the spouses should be taking an effective ways to make their relationships become intimate and successful. The good interaction between the spouses can build a good relationship as a friend and spouse to sharing their problem and always spend a quality life and time together.The spouse can’t use their children as a messenger between his or her because that can impact their relationship and communicate face to face can build a good relationship between them.